Title: ShameLess
Author: Mel Ballew
Genre: Romantic Suspense
Synopsis
"If all you
can do is crawl, start crawling. Soon, you’ll be able to stand."
S’renaty James
lives a privileged life most her age only dream of living. She is beautiful and
popular with her entire life ahead of her. Life could not get any better.
Until her entire
life shifts, crashing around her...
Bound by
devastation, persecuted by the ones she used to call ‘friends’, haunted by
disturbing nightmares, and filled with self-blame, she vows to overcome.
Stefan is
everything S’renaty swears to avoid. He is carefree and charismatic. He is
primitive, complicated and a total badass. He makes her melt like fine
chocolate under a hot summer’s sun the first time their eyes meet. There is
something about him, and she makes it her mission to find out.
When he meets
S’renaty James, he is not prepared for what comes over him because for the
first time ever, a girl leaves him breathless. Now, his primary responsibility
is to keep her safe.
He will do anything
to protect her. Even lie...
Stefan is the one
person she has trusted with her heart. After keeping an unforgivable secret, he
could be the one to shatter it to pieces. In fact, he may even destroy her
beyond repair. Will she overcome and forgive, letting go of the pain, guilt and
shame? Or this time, will she be stronger than the hardest lesson of her life —
and, become totally ShameLess?
Excerpt #1
With my head propped against my mother’s warmth, and my body wrapped in
her love, I open my eyes and see the reflection of my half of the ‘best friends
forever’ necklace shimmering in the beams of sunlight coming through my bedroom
drapes. It is hanging where it always has, over the photo of Elle and me at my
eleventh birthday party at the beach. The picture was taken the day she got it
for me. Both of us are wearing our party hats as colored balloons with their
matching curled and spiraled strings hang around us, providing the perfect
backdrop. I can’t take my eyes off them.
My mother missed this one
photo. She missed the necklace, too. It may only be half of one heart
illuminated by the sunlight, but in this particular moment, it illustrates the
clarity and depth of my pain. Ironically, it is exactly how my heart is now
without her. It is only half of what it used to be. It is only half of what it
should be still. My heart will never be whole again. Best friends forever, Elle. I love you. Always have; always will. My
mind projects the words to her without saying it aloud.
Overwhelmed with agony, I clench my eyes shut and hold onto my mother.
I cannot bring her back. I cannot go back in time and change the outcome. The
present moment is all I have now.
My heart bleeds as my eyes overflow with the pain pouring out from the
depths of my soul. I will never be the same. I am the reason Elle sped off that
night. This is entirely my fault. It should have been one of the happiest
moments of our lives together and of our senior year. It turned out to be the
worst. I killed my best friend.
Excerpt #2
Not far in the distance, I see him. His back is to me, but he looks
somewhat familiar. His head rests in his palms, and he is on bended knee. What
do I do now? I can’t just walk over there and intrude. I don’t want to
interrupt his moment with his loved one. Oh my god, he is standing. Do not turn
around. Do. Not. Turn. Around.
Quickly, I hide myself behind the thick trunk of a nearby oak. Holy shitballs! Just great! Luckily, I
think I ducked out of sight in time, so he wasn’t able to see me prying or
spying on him. Whew! Thank the sweet Lord and all of his Angels above. Angels…
Immediately I am taken back to the verse engraved on my friend’s
headstone. Thanks for having my back
again, Elle.
Seconds pass. I glimpse around the oak to sneak a peek while my heart
slows down. I see him. He is sitting now. His head is hanging, and he is
running a hand through his dark wavy strands. He appears agitated. Maybe he did see me? Nah, I honestly
don’t think he did.
Fuck! It’s him!
Now, I can’t take my eyes off of him. He looks like a Greek god,
especially how, on bended knee he looks like a statue, and the sunlight shadows
his face. I’m more intrigued. I can only see his back, but his broad shoulders
expand against his cotton T-shirt. It is snug as the sleeves hug his bicep
muscles. Damn! He was so incredibly
arrogant at the Dr.’s office. Now, he seems fragile, nearly lost. I just want
to head over there and hug him tight, letting him know he will be all right.
Then again, who am I kidding? I am just now making my first visit to see my
best friend after two full years. Maybe his loss has been hard on him, too.
This makes me feel even sadder for him. Strangely and ironically, I feel closer
to him, despite how he acted earlier. At that time, I wouldn’t have cared if I
had ever seen him again. Now, my heart is breaking for him.
Okay. I am actually starting to freak myself out. I am standing in a
cemetery, scrutinizing some hot guy, probing into his business, and acting as
if I give a crap after how he treated me earlier. The fact is that I do give a
crap. Why? I have absolutely no freaking clue. I shouldn’t care one iota. Yet,
here I stand, peeping out behind the protection of an aged oak, watching and
stalking him. Yes! I am officially a creeper.
“Oh Elle, wouldn’t you just razz my shit over this?” If only you were
listening. If only you could.
I steal one last gander at my newfound ‘mystery man’, taking in the hot
Greek god in his entirety, then take off in the direction of my car.
Excerpt #3
On the heels of the truth surfacing in
my head, my body reacts. Rapidly, I do a half-turn, lunging down and digging my
right foot into the sand, and spin. I push off, hard with my foot, and take off
darting back down the sand heading in the direction we just came from. I don’t
wait for a response or a reaction from Stefan. I
just run fast and hard. I allow my body to dictate its speed. I sprint, running
parallel with the raging tides inspiring my motivation. It’s absolutely
fucking freeing. Emotional tension blends with the sexual tension surging,
pushing me, and giving me additional grit to push on.
“Who needs a rest now?” I cry out into
the air now blowing at my back. Dazed, Stefan didn’t see that one coming, and I
chuckle as I continue racing down the beach.
In no time, he catches up to me as we
near the house. He grabs my hand, halting me, pulling me to his side. Both of
us are covered in sweat, and sex oozes off him. I just want to scream. Instead,
I lean forward, placing my hands on each of my knees, gasping through huffing
breaths. Damn that felt great!
Before I know what is happening, he
whisks my entire body up slinging me over his shoulder, and takes off running.
We both plunge straight into the ocean. The frigid water bitch slaps me; no
cold shower needed. Together, we come up for air. Freezing water runs down our
faces.
“What the hell, Stefan?” I stutter out
through chattering teeth as shivers possess me. Between the cool breeze off the
ocean, and the frigid water, I can’t get warm.
He pulls me to him, wrapping me in his
arms, “I told you, you would be in my
arms, Star. And, cheaters always get due punishment. I don’t play.” His words,
playful, and firm, offer heated softness. I allow myself to welcome the warmth.
How is there any possible way to respond to that? I can’t.
Time halts.
In the next instant, Stefan takes both
of his hands to each side of my face, saying, “You will always be in my arms,” then leans in closer
introducing his lips to mine in a more passionate kiss than any I have had with
him or by anyone else.
In this moment, it feels like the first
one. I’m dying inside. This icy water holds no refuge to the fervor his body
offers mine. He attempts to pull away, but I bring him to me this time, and
take all of him, seizing his lips with my own. I bite his bottom lip, sucking
it in, nibbling a little harder, and letting him know I want all of him, not
just his lips. I want all of him!
Time has a way of transcending. It
surpasses more than the grandest of any of our unanswered prayers. It offers us
gifts every single day. Pap is right. Each day is truly a gift. Our past is a
gift for our present to open. I’m in the present with the most amazing guy.
Right now, nothing else matters except for opening my gift, and accepting my present. God knows exactly what we need
exactly when we need it. I thank God for giving me the strength to be here, in
this moment.
Tomorrow may still be a mystery, but
today is unraveling, slowly. It’s like opening a gift, and one I have every
intention of treating with care…unwrapping it gently to savor its blessing.
Here is to the present; to us!
Shameless Playlist
It’s
My Life - Bon Jovi
Beaches
- Bette Midler
Live
Like You Are Dying - Tim McGraw
One
Step At A Time - Jordin Sparks
Show
Me What I’m Looking For - Carolina Liar
Acceptance
In The Waves - Ice Nine Kills
Let’s
Get It Started - The Black Eyed Peas
Party
Rock Anthem - LMFAO
Walk
Of Shame - P!nk
Wild
Boy - MGK
Purple
Rain - Prince
When
It Rains - Paramore
Get
Lucky – Daft Punk
Crazy
Train - Ozzy Osbourne
Between
the Raindrops - Lifehouse
Sun
Doesn’t Rise - Mushroomhead
Crazy
Bitch - L.A. Guns
Welcome
to My House Party - Mill Creek
Losing
My Mind - Daughtry
I’m
That Chick - Mariah Carey
Cassanova
- Frankie Paul
Because
Of You - Kelly Clarkson
Lost
In You - Three Days Grace
Touch
My Body - Mariah Carey
Just
A Fool - Christina Aguilera
Umbrella
- Boyce Avenue
Home
- Phillip Phillips
Rise
Above This - Seether
Whatever
It Takes - Lifehouse
Shout
At The Devil - Motley Crue
Before
I Met You - Usher
I
Won’t Give Up - Jason Mraz
Who
Knew - P!nk
Light
Up The Sky - Christina Aguilera
Neon
Lights - Demi Lovato
Shameless
- All Time Low
Shooting
Star - Owl City
The
Kill - Thirty Seconds To Mars
Stronger
- Kelly Clarkson
Try
Sleeping With A Broken Heart - Alicia Keys
Fix
You - Cold Play
Hit
Me With Your Best Shot - Pat Benatar
I
Swear - All-4-One
More
Than Words Can Say - Alias
What
About Now - Bruno Mars
Just
The Way You Are - Rachael Yamagata
Just
Give Me A Reason - P!nk, Nate Ruess
Listen
to the ShameLess Playlist on Spotify
How to find Mel
Twitter: https://twitter.com/MelBallew
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